Honoring Yourself in 2021
What can you appreciate about your contribution this year?
… everybody — including me — has some important pieces of truth, and all of those pieces need to be honored, cherished, and included in a more gracious, spacious, and compassionate embrace. ~ Ken Wilber
This article will offer questions to reflect on 2021. If it feels tricky to slow down time right now (I feel you) and reflect given the busy-ness of this season, may I offer the metaphor of a glass of wine? And if it feels meaningful to also have a glass of wine while reading this letter, then by all means, settle in to read this with that wine. As you sip your wine, no matter the frenzy and chaos or stillness and calm in and around you, I invite you to remember that the wine you’re drinking is harvested from the grapes of the past. It’s the wisdom and insight of 2021, with wine glass in hand, that I hope you’ll harvest and honor.
Why reflect? To be honest, I’m actually inviting you to do more than reflect.
This reflection is on behalf of lovingly embracing the gifts of 2021 and then consciously deciding what to integrate or include in 2022. The reflection process includes two choice points that will follow after some review questions.
This way of reflecting is far different than the way of my Earlier Version of Self. The Earlier Version of Me was always motivated to move forward by the possibilities of the new. Reflection was mostly a “best practice” activity — something that was suggested as a good idea before scampering into the year ahead.
Reflection is more than a best practice
The practice of reflection is both being and doing. It is an activity or practice that is very active and I know from experience that we’re more able to access the wisdom of a past year if we’ve slowed down a little to invite in stillness and allowed ourselves to be open to hear it.
Going on a slower walk outside in nature (alone) feels like the kind of energy of reflection. It’s a slow walk through the days and months of the year, while still holding mindful attention of who and where you are as you take each step.
If a walk outside helps you still, slow or reflect, then consider including it your own practice before moving on to the questions below.
Some of these questions you’ll be able to answer with ease. Some will offer insights after they’ve been considered a few days. Some might simply be pause points. There is no right ways to do this.
2021 Reflection Questions
These questions have been designed to lightly touch on the different parts of you and your experience.
If you have a word of the year, a theme that guided you or perhaps a set of values, who did you become as a result of these?
How was your heart given more/less room this year? What emotions did you create space for? What kinds of feelings or energy did you resist? Why?
What were the practices or habits that contributed to your growth this year? What helped them take root and grow?
Which practices or habits do you have going on autopilot?
Who are the people that walked with you through this year? What do you feel grateful for because you were in companionship? Do they know the impact they’ve had on your life?
Who were the people that you found difficult to be with? Why? What part of you is touched by them and what care does it need?
What projects, initiatives or ideas did you cultivate and/or share this year? What has rippled out because of these efforts?
How do you feel more connected to the community you live in and the larger world? How have you served your collective? How have they served you?
What can you honor about yourself and your efforts and ways of being/doing this year?
What parts of you do you find difficult to embrace or feel ashamed or sad about? Why? What kind of support do you need to embrace this part of you?
Two Choice Points
Your reflections will benefit from a little bit of distilling or integrating. We get to decide what we want to bring forward, and discern what we want to set down.
Bringing forward the gifts of 2022 allows for wine. As we carefully select the grapes that grew well — metaphorically, we create opportunities for more and fuller wine.
Some of what I’ll be bringing forward are the pieces and parts of my emerging coaching practice, my desire to live a plant based lifestyle, my curiosity about how I can continue to support women in redefining and creating success, my longing for greater connection with my community…
And our reflections invite us to also consciously set things down. Perhaps parts of our way, lessons learned etc. can all be set down. Not all grapes make for great wine.
I choose to set down shame. And my relationship to shame. I choose to set down my sleepy, autopilot ways with money, and the part of me that struggles to receive support.
Choice Point Questions
1. Looking back on the questions you answered earlier, what do you want to bring, with intention into 2022? Why? Does it need to shift or change in any way or is it sufficient just as it is?
2. After looking back on the response to your questions about 2021, what do you sense you want to set down and leave in this chapter? What will be different if you do? What will happen if you don’t? What will help you courageously and compassionately set this down?
Gratitude
As you reflect on 2021, whether you follow this process or another, I have only one request: honor yourself fiercely — every single part of you, even the hard and awkward and messy parts brought you through this year and to today, and I hope you can find in you a way to fiercely love all of you — especially the parts of you that you are tempted to discard. You are beautiful beyond measure.
I’d love to know what you can honor about yourself, or your ways in 2021. if you’d like to share below do so! And articles such as these can arrive in your inbox weekly on Tuesdays by signing up here: www.theenergyoasis.com/the-tuesday-letter
