4 Simple Strategies to be Thankful
My nine year old son Matias wrote me a love note. Melt my heart… the kind I’ll keep forever. It arrived rather unexpectedly. I found it on my pillow after arriving home late one night. It caused me pause, and I stopped to soak in his words and sweet gesture.
As you can see he wrote it on a Kleenex. It was the only “paper” on hand when you’ve snuck into mom’s room on a mission. And he also used a Sharpie. And since he needed a hard surface to write on, well, he did so on the floor in our bedroom….
Yes, this a hardwood floor. And this is what we discovered the next morning, the love note permanently left behind to remember always. Like forever.
Gah!!!!! Even though I know my son showed up with his best intentions to write his Mama a love note, even though my husband and I regularly talk about removing ALL Sharpies from the home (but have yet to do so), even though he was doing his best, it’s hard not to be annoyed with the permanent stain on the hardwood floor. Yes, the poor floor. The gorgeous hardwood floor that we put into the house when we moved in five years ago…
Aren’t we all just doing our best?
For all the annoyance and frustration of this seemingly failed effort, I do believe that kids do their best. They do so with what they have, when and as they can. Every day they set out to do as well as they are able to, with all that they’ve already learned, with the edges of their own unskilled ways never too far off, just showing up to do what they day requires of them. And occasionally, writing their Mama a love note.
So why isn’t that the main story? Why does the story evolve to be about the floor? Why not the love note? And then, what lingers with this story? The annoyance of intentions gone wrong. Frustration, anger, disappointment….
4 Simple Strategies to Be Grateful, even when you’re a little upset
Be thankful for those good intentions
The thing is that I believe that we too, as women, do our best, with what we have, when we can. Our good intentions a great example of that fact. They represent our desire to do a little better, to try a little harder, to keep striving for a standard we’ve set for ourselves. Isn’t that awesome?
Tell me, where would we be without all those good intentions. What if they stopped showing up?
But damn we women are hard on ourselves. When it comes to our health, we are particularly notorious for focusing on all that we haven’t done. All that we intend to do, but then didn’t do. We focus on the stain of our good intentions, and fail to notice that we do keep on caring about being healthier and more energetic. It seems though that all we can see is our non doing, our fail, or what others have done but that we have not.
Create room for some compassion
If our good intentions are evidence of the desire we have to be healthier might we treat them with a little more compassion? Which means, start treating yourself with a little more compassion. Like now. Be attentive to that deep longing you have to be healthy, fit and energetic. Be thankful those intentions show up to stir you. Every Monday they seem to be there on our doorstep don’t they? It means you want to keep on moving forward. Relax into that.
Be judgmental curious about your own edges
When you see yourself not being able to live into your intentions in the way you’d like to, be thankful for that awareness too. More than likely, you’re doing your best, and you’ve hit up against a skill edge. Or maybe they’re asking you to re-think your approach. An opportunity in disguise. This isn’t the story you’re accustomed to telling yourself is it?
The reason why I know this so confidently is because a lot of intelligence, skill, talent, time, patience, perseverance (and the list goes on) brought you to this very moment. You got to where you are, riding the wings of your own awesomeness. No one else brought you here.
So, that being the case, good chance that if your intentions aren’t playing out in the way you want them to, it’s not for lack of trying, it’ could be for lack of Fully Knowing How. A skill edge. A place to stop, pause and get curious about what you might need to learn or do different, or explore to grow more fully into yourself. That longing to be healthier is seeking a way to express itself. Give it some room if you can.
Write a love note to your health
And thank those good intentions – they represent your strive to be healthier.
Get curious about those unlived intentions – they represent a place to keep on learning and discovering. Which I know you’ll do. You won’t be able to help it…. because on Monday morning those good intentions will show up again. They care deeply about you. Hear the whisper of the longing to live with greater health.
So write yourself a nice long love note. Acknowledge all, and The ALL of you that brought your fabulous self to this moment. This Moment. That was no small feat. (and just click below and there will be a love note to get you started)
Want to join other women getting Compassionately Curious about their edges?
Come join us by clicking here. It’s a closed and private (read be among your best girlfriends) Facebook group (The Energy Oasis)! Just click to join and you’ll be met with welcome arms!